burned

Being away for a month couldn't have been better, but it couldn't have been worse.

The whole time I was away I was having the best time being free in a controlled situation.

Then a few days ago I got back and had this feeling.

Everything was the same, but not quite. Something seemed different.

I still can't work it out.

I was only gone for one month, I don't know what possibly could have changed.

I was on facebook before and it suggested I become a fan of

"I just spent all day with you, and I miss you already"

I wanted to cry so much but nothing really came out because its the same old situation.

So I re arranged my room and then put it back how it was, maybe i was trying to find something - make something new. But I realised midway - this was no refurbishment of my room, it was just changing around what I already had.

I wish that when I came back there was someone who missed me in particular, and someone who I could spend the day with and hug and tell all the stories of Japan.

Family & Friends go together and yes I can tell you all the stories.

But I want to be horizontal with someone and tell them those stories, someone who knows why I did what I did and laughs at my stupid antics and then I hear about this someone's adventures while I was gone.

and even though we had a lovely time seperately, we really missed eachother and look forward to those days in the future of just lazing around, silly arguments, days out, special moments.

I'm such a sook, but oh well aren't we all?

telling this to everyone is silly because what can anyone say?

"Don't worry the right person will come along"

"You just have to wait"

"It isn't your time"

"You just haven't met the right one"

"You need to put yourself out there"

I know I know, I've heard it all and I know that is how it logically goes.

BUT anyone in this situation knows how I feel.

When you get the feeling of loneliness it hangs around you for a while, and while it is with you, it is not a nice feeling.